So to combine my mommy blogging and my rants on gender issues, I give you the Sippy Cup Exposé. I was looking at Emma's sippy cups recently and noticed that we had a set of Playtex sippy cups that seriously played into gender stereotypes. The cups are pink and blue. The blue cup displays fish (in a school) undergoing academic pursuits. They are learning the ABC's, looking at a globe, and using a ruler. The pink cup on the other hand has personified teacups, fruit, and flowers. WTF!

I am so sick of being faced with gender specific assumptions when I get anything for Emma. The whole pink and blue thing is everywhere - it's hard to avoid exposing her to the idea that pink=girls and blue=boys. All the clothes are pink and purple covered in flowers, hearts, princesses, or ballet shoes. And now the sippy cups get involved too. So what does it matter that I let her use the blue=academic/intellectual cup? She knows that the pink one is for girls and so sees that girls are associated with tea parties and flowers while boys are associated with learning and school. I'm sure people will say that I'm overreacting and am too sensitive, but I'm just finding it really difficult to avoid imparting to my daughter oppressive gender roles. Does the world really have to promote cultural stereotypes on freaking sippy cups? This gets more annoying everyday...

Labels: Emma, Gender Issues, parenting

You begin this way:
this is your hand,
this is your eye,
that is a fish, blue and flat
on the paper, almost
the shape of an eye.
This is your mouth, this is an O
or a moon, whichever
you like. This is yellow.

Outside the window
is the rain, green
because it is summer, and beyond that
the trees and then the world,
which is round and has only
the colors of these nine crayons.

This is the world, which is fuller
and more difficult to learn than I have said.
You are right to smudge it that way
with the red and then
the orange: the world burns.

Once you have learned these words
you will learn that there are more
words than you can ever learn.
The word hand floats above your hand
like a small cloud over a lake.
The word hand anchors
Your hand to this table,
your hand is a warm stone
I hold between two words.

This is your hand, these are my hands, this is the world,
which is round but not flat and has more colors
than we can see.

It begins, it has an end,
this is what you will
come back to, this is your hand.

Copyright © 1978 by Margaret Atwood.

I love that poem - the simplicity that hints at the vast complexity of language and knowledge. Teaching words to a child - naming the world and defining the boundaries. At this stage it feels like I am restricting Emma's world. This word, this symbol, is this. Eye, hand, rain. The words are the thing itself. We struggle through this, this naming of things.

Emma - What happened to the mouse?
Me - The mice?
Emma - No, mouse.
Me - When there are more than one, they are called mice.
Emma - No, that's not nice. Mouse.

Mice and Nice. We're working on that one. The naming continues. Words are what she knows and there is power in words. I define the world for her, answer her "what is it?" question with a name - the right answer. Abstract words are harder. She knows saying please is associated with getting what she wants, but hasn't quite realized that it isn't a magical spell one casts that always results good things. She orders her world with the phrases she knows. She's heard Dora when getting on a boat say "lifejackets - so we can be safe" enough times that as she played with her Noah's Ark toy recently each animal had to put on a lifejacket before entering the ark. Words define, they set boundaries, they are secure.

But I see her from time to time breaking free of the constraints of language I have set for her. She is discovering the power to create with language - to be involved in her own process of naming. Tonight the space under the table became the realm of Puddleduck where the caped hero Gobbleguck attempted to escape from lions, tigers, dinosaurs and the mommy tickle monster. The world is not flat in reality, language does define and constrain, but there is still the power to create. Perhaps with just these nine colors we can create infinite shades.

Labels: Emma, poetry reflections, Reflections

On a perhaps not lighter, but at least different note...

So this is what it means to be a mom...

Yesterday Mike was watching Emma down in the basement while I got to take an uninterrupted shower. As I was getting dressed, I hear them come upstairs and Emma is screaming hysterically. I run out to find her wailing with her hands wrapped up inside of her shirt. Whenever she gets hurt she wraps up the hurt in a blanket or something, so I knew something must have happened to her hands. Mike had no clue what had happened. He had seen her pulling one of the toy bins off the shelf then hide her hands and start screaming. It took a long time for us to extract her hands as she thrashed, and kicked, and flailed about so as to ascertain that there were no visible cuts or bites. Had she broken something? Sprained something? I started rocking her and singing to her to calm her down. After about the 300th verse of Itsey Bitsey Spider, she fell asleep with her hands still clutched tightly under her shirt. She slept for a couple of hours and awoke still hiding her hand and refusing to let us see them. At this point I was wondering if we should go to the ER or something. Finally we tempted her with mac n' cheese and she eventually started using her hands again. We kept trying to ask her what had happened, but she wouldn't say anything. Nothing appeared to be wrong with her hands, so by this point we were really mystified. After lunch I tried to take her back downstairs to play and she freaked out again. knowing that something downstairs had hurt or scared her, (evil parents that we are) we picked her up and took her downstairs. Once down there, she crawled up on the couch, clutched her hands, and started screaming about a snake. We went to the basket she had pulled out earlier and sure enough there was a rubber snake in it. Mike had to make a big scene about getting rid of the snake in order to calm her down. She clung to me for at least an hour afterwards and continued to ask throughout the day if the snake was gone.

I have no idea what has caused Emma to have this intense fear of snakes. We were at the point of taking her to the ER because she was so hysterical about her hands not being touched. But it was all because she accidentally touched a toy snake. So is this a serious issue? Something she will grow out of? Oh my goodness it freaked me out. Oh the joys of parenting...

Labels: Emma, parenting

Today is the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. The day when we are blessed with the most light all year long. I love that the focus of the solstices is light not darkness. Today we celebrate the abundance of light and the life if brings to the earth. We give thanks for the first fruits of harvest and take pleasure in the warm days of summer. The focus is not on the return of the darkness but on appreciation of the light. In winter when the darkness is at its greatest, we celebrate the return of the light. We rejoice that light will always overcome the darkness.

We celebrated the Solstice with the alternative parents group I am a part of with a picnic and bubble extravaganza. (what better way to celebrate anything than to have laughing toddlers chase bubbles!) Here is Emma enjoying the occasion.

Labels: Emma, Personal, Reflections

When I was pregnant everyone joked that because Mike and I were such um, nerds, karma would have it that our child was bound to be a sports freak or a cheerleader. The universe would obviously make that sort of joke on us.

Two and a half(ish) years later Emma is being herself. She loves books and drawing. She likes to dig in the dirt and dance around with the leaves in the backyard. She loves to wear her princess dresses, but is also obsessed with baseball (as the picture shows, she sleeps with her ball and bat). She insists on wearing her "horns" (University of Texas Longhorns) clothing as much as possible (and having mommy and daddy wear their horns shirts as well) and has to be sung the UT Fight Song before bed each night. So leaving aside the fact that in this picture she is a walking advertisement for Disney Princesses, Sesame Street, and Dora the Explorer - she is herself. Not clones of mommy and daddy, but not our exact opposite either. She's Emma.

Labels: Emma, Personal

I love praying with Emma. Granted, she is still grasping the whole concept of God, but she seems to understand that God takes care of things and that we say "thank you" to God. When we pray (or sing songs like "He's Got the Whole World in his Hands"), we get to go through the list of everything Emma can think of to pray for. We thank God for and ask God to care for mommy, daddy, her friends, her animals, her toys, her car, her house, the birds... (you get the picture). She also has to pray for her favorite TV characters - Elmo, Dora, and Swiper. Yes, Swiper. (for those of you unfamiliar with the world of Dora the Explorer, Swiper is a fox that swipes stuff. The bad guy.) So Emma prays that God will take care of Swiper. I love that. She doesn't pray that God will change Swiper, make him repent of his swipiness, and make him a moral fox. She just prays that God will take care of Swiper. That's the grace and love I wish I had. Where I could truly love my enemies no matter what. Where I had no problem with God loving them either. Where I didn't insist on God's love and blessing for just for myself or grudgingly extend it to others when they become like me. Where I loved because that is what I am called to do.

Labels: Emma, parenting, Reflections, Theology

So I've been fairly brain dead this week (and dealing with computer drama). There are these blogs posts I meant to write, but which have yet to make it out of my head. Maybe later, but for now you get cute Emma pics. This is a typical meal with Emma - she is in the toddler "do it myself" stage (I wish I had pictures of her trying to eat her vegetable soup with her hands...). Anyway, I think this was her attempt with Seven Layered Dip...

Labels: Emma, Personal

Grandma holds Emma as she blows out her candle

So today is Emma's second birthday. We had a big party for her last night with a bunch of her (and our) friends. Mike's parents came into town and were a huge help with everything. It was good for Emma to see them again so soon. We had an Elmo party - with the balloons, cakes, party hats, and stuff to match. It was fun, chaotic, and overwhelming all in one. We served dinner, cake and ice cream. She blew out her own candle and was much less messy eating her cake this year (as in she didn't have to go straight to the bathtub afterwards). We played a couple of games, but Emma was a bit too shy to join in on "stick the nose on Elmo." (she stuck the nose on herself instead). She was overwhelmed with presents and has been playing with them all day. Cute clothes, fun Elmo toys, good books, a couple of stuffed animals - she is having loads of fun. Read more about the party and see a few more pictures at Mike's blog.

It's crazy to think that she's two already. Two years ago - I had just spent 3 1/2 months on strict bedrest, she was born 6 weeks early, and went straight down to the NICU. Now she is so healthy and full of life. She is learning so many new words everyday. She's got the ABC song down and is working on her numbers (today they were - "one, two, freee, four, five, chicken, leven, ten..."). She sings all sorts of songs to herself and asks us to sing to her all the time. I love to see her passion and joy in being alive.



So Happy Birthday Emma!

Labels: Emma, Personal