So my blog officially turns two today. I know that in the grand scheme of the blogworld that isn't very old, but its been quite a journey for me. I think the process started a little over two years ago when I attended the 2005 Emergent Gathering in Nashville. We had recently left our jobs at our old church, had no new jobs lined up, and had a three month old baby. At the time - after spending nearly 4 months on strict bedrest (and drugs that prevented me from reading) and not having a full night's sleep since Emma was born, I was feeling very disconnected. I didn't think I would ever have functioning use of my brain again. At the Convention, I attended the Emerging Women's luncheon and ended up at a table with a bunch of women who were in seminary. They spent the whole lunch discussing the conversations they were having on their blogs. I felt so stupid. I could barely put a coherent sentence together much less have anything meaningful to say on a blog. I desperately wanted to be part of the conversation, but didn't think I had the right or ability to.

Fast forward a couple of months. By then I had realized that nursing a baby gave me large amounts of time to read. Granted, it was only fiction, but I was reading again. So as not to drive Mike nuts by telling him about books he had absolutely no interest in whatsoever, I started a blog. The idea was to post reviews, summaries, and thoughts about the books I was reading. I did do that, occasionally, but mostly I just posted fun blog things and pictures of Emma. From time to time I wanted to post my thoughts on certain topics, but was honestly too afraid. I was afraid of what the people who knew me would think about what I would write (obviously I never spoke my ideas aloud). So this blog remained a random picture blog with the occasional book review thrown in for about a year.

What changed things though was when I attended the Emerging Women ReGathering in April of 2006. One of the themes of that gathering was to explore how women (even in the Emerging Church) have often not been allowed (by others and ourselves) to have a voice. The weekend provided times of healing and encouragement to speak up in whatever was we can. I left having made a personal commitment to use my voice by putting my thoughts into writing - no matter how jumbled or incoherent they may at times be. I'm not saying that my writing is good or all that meaningful, just that it is a vehicle for my voice and a means to develop and refine my thoughts.

So this blog has been part of my journey of awakening and self-discovery the last couple of years. I have enjoyed crafting it and plan on continuing to express my thoughts through random reviews, reflections, and rants. Who knows where (if anywhere) this will lead, but for now I'm enjoying the journey.

Labels: Blog Stuff, Emerging Church, Emerging Women, Personal