And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt. - Sylvia Plath
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Tuesday, April 10, 2007,9:07 AM
Control and Letting Go
I hope I am never like this.
I understand the concept of a concerned controlling parent. I understand when a parent doesn't want their teenage daughter going to parties where they know that there will be drunk teenage boys who think their dick is God's gift to the world. I understand not letting them go. And I understand (if not agree) with the parents who control their kid's lives by enrolling them in every sport, tutoring club, and music class they can think of. They push/control their children because if their children succeed by the world's terms then they have succeeded.
But this is just sad.
I was at the gym taking a shower after my workout. There was a mom and her daughter in there as well. The daughter looked to be at least 8/9th grade. The mom controlled this girl's every breath. Here's what I overheard.
Moms in shower and daughter's in the next shower (the daughter started her shower a few minutes after the mom)
Mom: You need to rinse out your swimsuit.
Mom: Did you hear me?
Girl: yes.
Mom: did you rinse out your swimsuit?
Girl: Yes.
Mom: Be sure to rinse your hair twice to get the chlorine out.
Girl: Yes, mom.
Mom: Don't use too much shampoo. All you need is a little bit. Just about the size of a dime. Only use that much.
Girl: Okay, mom.
mom finishes her shower
Mom: You need to hurry up and get out.
a minute later
Mom: You need to get out now. Watch your step, the floor is slippery. No, walk over here.
The girl had to be in at least Jr. high, had she never taken a shower before? Or is the mom just such a nag that she has to supervise her daughter's showers? Let the girl grow up already. It reminded me of a family I knew who made their high school age daughter take naps. Naps! She wasn't even allowed to read during that time. This crosses the line of loving concerned parent into psycho controlling freak. I wonder if the girl will ever be allowed to make her own decisions (you know hard ones like how to take a shower). Or will she jump off the deep end like so many over-controlled kids as soon as she gets the chance?
I understand the concept of a concerned controlling parent. I understand when a parent doesn't want their teenage daughter going to parties where they know that there will be drunk teenage boys who think their dick is God's gift to the world. I understand not letting them go. And I understand (if not agree) with the parents who control their kid's lives by enrolling them in every sport, tutoring club, and music class they can think of. They push/control their children because if their children succeed by the world's terms then they have succeeded.
But this is just sad.
I was at the gym taking a shower after my workout. There was a mom and her daughter in there as well. The daughter looked to be at least 8/9th grade. The mom controlled this girl's every breath. Here's what I overheard.
Moms in shower and daughter's in the next shower (the daughter started her shower a few minutes after the mom)
Mom: You need to rinse out your swimsuit.
Mom: Did you hear me?
Girl: yes.
Mom: did you rinse out your swimsuit?
Girl: Yes.
Mom: Be sure to rinse your hair twice to get the chlorine out.
Girl: Yes, mom.
Mom: Don't use too much shampoo. All you need is a little bit. Just about the size of a dime. Only use that much.
Girl: Okay, mom.
mom finishes her shower
Mom: You need to hurry up and get out.
a minute later
Mom: You need to get out now. Watch your step, the floor is slippery. No, walk over here.
The girl had to be in at least Jr. high, had she never taken a shower before? Or is the mom just such a nag that she has to supervise her daughter's showers? Let the girl grow up already. It reminded me of a family I knew who made their high school age daughter take naps. Naps! She wasn't even allowed to read during that time. This crosses the line of loving concerned parent into psycho controlling freak. I wonder if the girl will ever be allowed to make her own decisions (you know hard ones like how to take a shower). Or will she jump off the deep end like so many over-controlled kids as soon as she gets the chance?
Tags:
Labels: parenting
Being the mom of a 13 year old girl ... who doesn't control her every waking moment, I can actually imagine a shower like that. There are days when she has to be reminded of each stupid little step. Which gets on my very last little nerve. Usually though I couch my reminders in terms of, "Did you remember to ...?" and I don't ever remind her how much shampoo to use ... that's just overkill. She consistently needs a kick in the pants to get out of the lockerroom in a timely fashion, or I'm left waiting and waiting and waiting, because that's all I have to do in the world is wait on her.
All of that is to say, perhaps this mother and daughter were having a particularly bad day. It is possible. But she does sound a little over the top ... you, on the other hand, probably don't have anything to worry about ;-)